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My life, my words by Margo Perine (Published March 20, 2005, Section: Rochester Living, Edition: Metro, Page:2C) I spent most of this beautiful March day trying to understand my son's young mind. William spent most of today asking to go to Atlanta. At least four times between home and our errands, he queried me. He doesn't realize that we can't just "go to Atlanta" today. He knows we had a layover there en route to Disney World during winter break. However, William does not understand that we cannot drive there today to see the Falcons, his favorite NFL team. William is 7 years old, and he has autism. He knows how to reconfigure my entire desktop on the computer. He can add, subtract and read on par with his second-grade peers. He can articulate anything you might want to know about race car drivers and sponsors, as well as - of course - NFL teams. But William does not understand that my car key will not unlock those on display at the mall. He delights in using the digital camera to create racing sequences with his toy cars, which he downloads and sets to music on the computer - applauding as this day's favorite wins. William frolics with his sister, 6-year-old Allison, rolling on the ground - for only moments, to be halted because he does not understand that Allison is not a wide receiver to be tackled and his 62 pounds will too easily send us to the emergency room. I am constantly trying to decipher what is being fired between those neurons in little William's mind. I have learned to not say a word when others at the grocery store look at me in disgust as I peel my boy from a fit off the floor. I don't always know what has set him off, and I may never. I shrugged when he dropped his shorts poolside at our vacation resort, and proceeded to do his thing on a tree. "Better there than the pool," an encouraging mother said with a smile. You can only imagine what relief that gave me. Warm or encouraging words come few and far between. William blessed me and my husband seven years ago. Despite the challenges we face every day, we have many of the wonderful moments shared by all parents. Heartfelt laughter, a fond farewell to diaperdom and the first time he dipped his head underwater on his own are only a few. We have also been blessed by an educational community that has not only embraced Will but is also working with tremendous diligence to help William be the very best that he can be. Today William is "mainstreamed." That is the term for the day your child is placed in a regular classroom with typically developing peers - I've been wondering when this day would come since he was diagnosed with autism at 3. I still wonder if my William will ever drive a car, although he never fails to tell me to "stop at the stop sign." I wonder what kind of job opportunities lie ahead for my boy. Will he ever have a girlfriend? Marry? Only time will tell. But for today, a trip to Atlanta is not to be. William will settle for a trip to the mall. It took a while, but I finally got that Falcons hat off him at the hat store. He already has three. That is of little consolation in my son's mysterious mind. -Margo Perine, 39, lives in Victor, NY with her husband, Jeff, and children William and Allison. She has a bachelor's degree in political science from the University of Texas at Austin and is a freelance writer and Editor of Genesee Valley Parent and Rochester Woman magazines in Rochester, NY.
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