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First Moments of Life
Holding my son, Tariq, for the first time in the delivery room on November 29, 1979. In the words of Robert Browning, it felt like "God's in his heaven, all's right with the world."
There is more than one birth in every delivery room. In every family, the woman becomes a mother. The man becomes a father. A family is born.
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Bonding
At one day old, there is no problem bonding. There is electricity between our eyes.
Note the eye contact. |
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Meeting the early Milestones
Tariq raising his head for the first time at 4 months. He was meeting the developmental milestones. |
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Shared Interest
At 8 months celebrating our play together. He shares his excitement with the photographer--me. |
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9 months
Smiling at the photographer, his father. |
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9 months
"Future quarterback"-- my dreams of playing sports together on his chest. |
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10 months
Another one of my favorite photos. |
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Daddy and Me
A typical father and son interaction. |
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First Steps
Taking his first steps on 11/29/80, his first birthday. It felt like your team winning the Super Bowl. |
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Trip to the Beach
At 20 months, the dream was shaken. Tariq had stopped talking. Played repetitively such as here on the beach. The first visual evidence that all was not well. |
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Broken Dreams
After months of no speech, dreams are crushed. I shudder that he will not be who I imagined. I resist desperately. It feels like a death but it isn't. |
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Early Intervention Begins
By his third summer he is in early intervention. Here I swing him every day trying to get back the eye contact. But he looks around and away and through. The connection is lost, and I am powerless to change that |
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Extra Terrific (E.T.) Kid
I take this picture of Tariq at 3 to a psychic who soothes me, saying that he will talk. I have never stopped wanting to hear his voice again. My love never faded. |
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The Mystery of a Nonverbal Child
It's hard to know what upsets him. His pleasant mood has been long gone |
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Playing in Early Intervention
Seeing him playing with staff was food for the soul. |
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Center for Autistic Children
Here is Tariq with child psychiatrist and autism pioneer, Dr. Bert Ruttenberg. |
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Specialized Services Make a Difference
With the proper therapies he became once again a pleasant and happy child. The therapists who bonded with him showed me I could love him as he was. |
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Signing for More
As Tariq approaches nine years of age, the round the clock care he still needs is more than I can handle. He goes to live at the Devereux Foundation in West Chester. One of my worst fears comes true--my son was not to finish growing up with me.
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A Day in the Park
We learned to run together and make contact--that was something I did dream of. |
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Canoeing
Canoeing at Marsh Creek is another activity I dreamed of. A moment of serenity.
I have learned to accept what I cannot change.
As I wrote to Tariq, "I have tried so hard to change you, and in the end it was you who changed me." |
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Joining Him Where He Is
Making eye contact in his own way with his own timing.
Photo by Tommy Leonardi ToLeonardi@aol.com
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Family Portrait 1999
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Folding Laundry
Learning pre-vocational skills at Devereux. |
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Graduation Day 2001 at Devereux Foundation
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Precious Moment
A tender moment in the park on a beautiful autumn day.
Photo by Tommy Leonardi. |
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