Questions and Answers about Autism
Question 3.
My son is almost 5 years old and is mildly autistic. We live in Kuwait. His main
drawback is speech comprehension and failure to carry out a conversation.
Since the past one month he refuses to take a bath...an activity he enjoyed
previously. Forced attempts to bathe him make him hysterical and uncontrollable.
We are at a loss.
If we force him to bathe would this affect his development i.e. would he
regress? On the speech front what advice can you give us?
We are residing in Kuwait where no proper speech therapists are available.
Please reply at the earliest. Anxiously awaiting your response.
Answer: I appreciate that you are reaching out from around the globe to me in
the United States. So many of us who have children with special needs share your
anxious feelings about how to help them and what the future may hold. It is even
harder when you can’t access the services your child needs. Autism in particular
is very hard to fathom since our children look so normal. As you know their
needs are unique and individual in nature. No two children who are diagnosed
within the “autistic spectrum” are the same.
Neither is every family the same. Many times the child’s difficulties in social,
emotional, and intellectual development become a metaphor or symbol for the
family’s difficulties in connecting with the people and services which can help.
We may feel isolated and frustrated because it is so hard especially in the
beginning to communicate our needs AND get them met.
The Internet is such a marvelous invention for helping us
connect. Noting that you were from Kuwait, I did some searching around the
Internet. I found the Kuwait Center for Autism,
http://www.safat.com/pwsn/aut.html,
whose director Samira Al Saad, Ph.D., has spoken to conferences in the United
States. In addition, I would recommend several other sites concerning autism
which I use regularly:
Autism Research Institute
Autism Society of America
Interdisciplinary Council for Developmental and
Learning Disorders
Spectrum
Of course there are a dizzying number of web sites and books on the topic. If I
had to recommend one book that could serve as a guide to parents about how to
actually work with their child it would be The Child with Special Needs:
Encouraging Intellectual and Emotional Growth by Stanley Greenspan, M.D. and
Serena Wieder, Ph.D. This book and others are available through the Special
Needs Bookstore on this site.
The questions which you raise are best answered by professionals who can observe
and work with your child. I will however make a few comments. Since your child
previously enjoyed a bath, I suspect that something happened to make him afraid
or reluctant. He will need to be de-sensitized to this fear. So even though he
may protest I would suggest helping him to overcome the fear as opposed to
giving into it entirely. Basically, I encourage you to expect him to get past
this and gently but firmly help him to do so. In so many aspects of child
development for typical as well as not so typical children, this approach helps
children to grow. An occupational therapist or behavior therapist, if available,
could evaluate the situation and make a specific plan for your child.
In terms of speech, I recommend reinforcing and responding positively to every
attempt your child makes to communicate with you. There are many ideas about how
to do this in the book I recommended. The progress will come in small steps, but
it can grow dramatically over time.
Children with special needs teach us to accept what we cannot change and change
the things we can. That struggle is an individual one, but we need the support
of others. So I encourage you to go forward in your own country and stay
connected with the rest of us on the Internet.
RN
