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Looking for Meaning at Holiday Times? Don’t be surprised if you are feeling differently about the holidays this year. You are not alone. “The focus of the holidays will be changed,” says psychologist Dorothy Cantor. The climate and the mood of the country are restrained. Holiday parties are smaller and more subdued. Even Hollywood stars are dressing down. People are spending less this season. Time with family and friends is especially important this year. The holidays are generally stressful under any circumstances. A recent poll found 41% of respondents find Christmas and Hanukkah stressful, rating them right up there with asking the boss for a raise! So what can we do to enjoy this holiday season in spite of recent events? Dr. Cantor suggests that the net effect of September 11 may be that we each put less emphasis on the glitzy material things and put more emphasis on the reasons we celebrate the holidays in the first place. Demonstrate the spirit of the season. Consider giving more of your time to your family during the holidays. Try to give your children some gifts that are nonmaterial, and encourage them to do the same. Discuss with them why your family is approaching the holidays differently this year. They will enjoy being part of this process. Gifts of time together, perhaps spent in a service to your community, help with chores, or a promise to show more patience may not seem as gratifying to children as Nutcracker Barbie or the Harry Potter Hogwarts Castle, but they plant the seeds of alternative ways to give and receive. Readers can call toll-free 1 (877) 603-4000 for a free copy of “Tips for the Holidays: Ways to Give to Your Children.” Here are some tips for the holidays: Ways to Give to Your Children
Give your children some gifts that are not material gifts and encourage them to do the same. Gifts of time together or help with chores may not seem as tangibly gratifying to children as a new CD or the hot new toy, but they plant the seeds of alternative ways to give and receive.
Create family traditions that involve giving back to the community. Shop for extra groceries to give to a food bank, volunteer at a shelter, or donate toys. In these ways children learn to help others.
Our early holiday experiences shape our lifetime expectations of these special occasions. When your children are very young, begin to emphasize the religious, cultural, or altruistic traditions of Christmas or Hanukah.
Help your children see that one of the greatest joys of gift giving is to give the other person something they will really value. Discuss what grandma and grandpa like to do and their favorite things. Then make or buy a gift to please them. Tell children the important thing is the gift is coming from them, not how much it costs. Consider giving grandparents a coupon for helping around the house or raking the leaves.
Put the newspaper down and turn off the television when your children have something to say to you. Show them you respect them and they will learn to respect themselves, as well as others. |
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